Yes, you read that right. Tomorrow, at 10:00 a.m. I will be
undergoing the first of two surgeries involved in the double mastectomy with
reconstruction process. Now, if you know what that is, you're probably thinking
"Wait, so she has breast cancer?" But that's incorrect. My mastectomies
are prophylactic, which means "preventative". Because you see,
for whatever reason, God allowed a little, tiny, cancerous gene, entitled BRCA1
to make its way into my body. When I was 18 I tested positive for BRCA1, just
as my mother, and grandmother, and even great-grandmother did. I am fourth,
maybe fifth, generation BRCA1 positive. So what does that mean? I have a
90-some odd-percent chance of acquiring breast cancer by the age of 26 years
young.
At 3 years old, I watched both my mother and my grandmother
walk the rigorous path that is chemo therapy. I watched their hair fall out and
their skin bruise and their bodies grow weak. I sat on my mommy's lap as I
witnessed an awful thing called breast cancer rob her of her job, and her
energy and her Type A personality. Now, my mom is a beautiful survivor, and I
admire her bravery and strength and perseverance. Her story has touched so many
people's lives, and, ultimately, she beat breast cancer. But that doesn't mean
that she's 100% healthy today. The radiation left her with a lot of diseases
and scars. And as I grew up, I swore to myself I would never, ever sit in a
chemo chair.
In June of 2010, we scheduled the surgery for the upcoming
January. But life got in the way, and we had to move it to May 2011. But then
some more life happened and we crossed it off our calendars once again, and
didn't set another official date. But just a short two months ago, I decided to
finally set the date of March 29th - no excuses, no fears - and nothing was
going to stop me. Although a fractured knee tried to interfere, and a little
devil on my shoulder telling me that I wasn't strong enough reared his ugly
head every day, the day has finally come. Am I terrified? Of course. Am I
dreading the stitches, and the muscle expanders, and the hospital stays? Well,
duh. But do I have to live with the constant fear and stress of waking up one
morning with a mysterious lump, and knowing cancer has finally knocked on my
door?
ABSOLUTELY NOT! And to me, that's
all worth it.
Now, I didn't write this so people would feel sorry
for me and send flowers to the hospital. I wrote this because I am hoping my
experience could make a difference in somebody else's life. The beautiful and
talented E! News anchor, Giuliana Rancic, just recently underwent this same
exact surgery. Her courage and motivation and willingness to share her story so
publicly is what pushed me over the edge to re-schedule the surgery, and knock
it out once and for all. Now I know I don't have millions of twitter followers
and beloved fans like she does, but I do have roughly six hundred Facebook
friends. I might not be able to change the world, but maybe, I could help
change one person's future.
Breast cancer is quickly becoming one of the most
wide-spread cancers in the world. And once it hit's you, there is no official
cure. But, there is now a way to keep it from hitting you at all. Girls, and
guys alike, if breast cancer runs in your family on either side, GO GET TESTED
to see if you carry the gene. I have consciously chosen to take my future into
my own hands and be proactive, and you can too. God has allowed new technology
and wonderful surgeons to help spare people of breast cancer and all of the
ugly side effects it comes with, and nobody needs to take that for granted. I
urge you to step up to the plate, and decide if you want to sit in a chemo
chair or not.
So tomorrow, around 1:00 p.m., I will come out of surgery
without the weight of a hundred poisonous genes on my shoulders. I will be
cancer free, for the rest of my life.
I'm a PRE- vivor, and I'm proud.
